Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Values

When I was 15 years old, Eugen once told me that when I am grown up I will stop hating people.

"when you are around 20, you will start to lose all those hatred towards people."











WELL I AM NOW AROUND 20 AND I STILL HATE PEOPLE

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Avatiaq

is there something wrong with me if i find the weird cat-like beings in avatar sexy?

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Lets just put in my resolutions(things i wont even attempt to do) and get done with it.

1. Stay awesome

-easy

2. Get buffed.

-now i've wasted a few hundreds on a set of weights and some other stuff to get me to look like Chinless(for penang ppl) or Mr Bahu(for KMBianz).

3. Stop smoking

-My mother said that if i stopped, she will get me a credit card


LIES


I remember when i was 12, my mother promised to take me to see the F1 race if i get 5A's for UPSR. I am still waiting after 8 years

the fact that my house is now 500M from the F1 circuit did not help.

4. Become a liquor baron

- I am serious.

5. Have a threesome

-doesnt matter how

A)male-female-female
B)male-male-female
C)male-male-male
D)male-female-goat
E)male-male-goat
F)male-goat-goat

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Homo Economicus

Considering that it is unsafe for children especially girls to go out at night to play at the local playground because of the apparent overwhelming number of rapist and kidnappers in Malaysia, I have concluded an economical approach to solve the situation.

Take the average rapist for example. He rapes because he is horny and is unable to obtain any female to satisfy his needs. Therefore he opts to rape children and insert vegetables into their vaginas and proceeds to stuff them in a bag. A very problematic scenario for society indeed.

Solution? Make prostitution legal.

Since prostitutes are the closest substitute to raping children, making prostitution legal will drive down the fees that the prostitutes charge for their service. Those "rapists" will then prefer to hire prostitutes instead. EVERYBODY WINS.

oh god, i should be a minister or something.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Fuck you 2009

I'm soaking wet. Just got back from wasting RM27 for standing in the rain. Fuck you Rock the world


Boom Boom Bash was gay.

4-6 girls came.

20-3o guys.

as nur haziq bin idris puts it "bapak cockfest gila"

wasted about RM400 in just 4 days in penang which is kinda alot considering I was sleeping at a friend's house.

fuck you penang.

haven't said this in a while but

i hate people


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

tiger woods

okay, i just got back from penang yesterday. Will blog about it soon. I just need some rest and shit. In the meantime lets talk about Tiger Woods!

Have you ever wondered why his first name is tiger?

well wonder no further! Let me tell you


His father is an african american (nigger) and his mother is from thailand (thai)




Thai + Nigger ?



TIGER

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

ini lawak

awas! sebelum anda membaca, ingatlah cerita dibawah hanyalah penulisan lawak dan tidak melambangkan personaliti sebenar penulis. Penulis tidak menyokong yahudi dan ataupun lobbyist zionisme.

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Mak! Afif takutlah tengok berita pasal Palestin, banyaknya orang mati!

"yahudi memanglah kejam, Afif. Dunia akan lebih aman kalau tidak ada yahudi"

Mak, kalau dunia tanpa yahudi macam mana?

"Mari anakku kita lihat...."

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"Afif bangun, nanti lewat ke sekolah"

Baik mak.. Afif mandi sekarang

Dan Afif pun bangun lalu mencapai tuala yang disangkut di dinding dan terus ke bilik air.

Brrrrr.. mak! sejuk la.. Kenapa water heater tak working?

"Afif, ini dunia tanpa yahudi. Iaitu tanpa Albert Einstein yang menerangkan wave particle duality, solar panel yang dulu memanaskan air tidak wujud"

Oh begitu ya mak, takpalah.. Afif tak mandi, afif kan wangi! heeee~

"Tapi cepat siap! nanti ayah marah kalau lambat"

Jap, afif nak ambik pensel box afif. Eh mak! mana pergi semua pen afif?

"Ball point pen direka oleh Lazlo Biro pada tahun 1938, juga seorang yahudi"

Oh ya ka mak? takpalah, nanti on the way pergi sekolah afif mintak ayah berhenti kedai buku beli pensel banyak2 :D

POOONNN! POOONNN!!

"ha cepat, ayah kamu dah panggil tu. Nanti dia marah!"

Jap afif pakai seluar.. eh mak! mana pergi semua seluar jeans afif?

"afif, tanpa Levi Strauss seorang yahudi Amerika. Jeans tidak wujud"

takpala, afif pakai kain pelikat aja :D

"eh cepat! nanti ayah kamu marah"

Afif pun sepantas kilat keluar ke rumah. Namun apabila melihat didalam kereta bukan ayahnya tetapi seorang berketurunan jepun dalam lingkungan umur 50-an

Eh mak! mana ayah?

"Itu lah ayah kamu... tanpa yahudi seperti J. Robert Oppenheimer, bom atom tak dapat dicipta jadi jepun tidak kalah perang Dunia ke-2."

Monday, December 14, 2009

December

I'm sorry for being an ass hole

it was all back then, nothing in the present. All of you should know how bad shit things was back then. Thats the main reason I went to Langkawi. Its like i need to get away from all the shit right? We all did bad stuff back then. I am not saying what I did is justified.